Coming from Behind

If there's one thing that can bring people together, alongside the performing arts, it's sports. Whether it's football, basketball, hockey, golf (YUCK!), soccer, or the Olympics, nothing can remind of us of the spirit of competition and athletes performing at their highest level like sports. All of the hours training in practices, sometimes early in the day, the exercising, the strength training, off the court skills like humility, compassion, courage, and perseverance shaping their character, learning from the pros, and repeating the same things over and over again is quite a feat. In a way, athletes and artists have a lot of in common: We both go to school to learn about our respective careers and interests, we attend rehearsals and practices to get better, we train in the gym or in yoga studios. we build our character outside and inside the spaces we excel in, we learn about what it means to be humble and kind (or not, in some sad cases), and we work at the highest level to achieve the ultimate goal, whether that's winning the game, the applause, hearing laughter, keeping the show going, stepping up when the lead player or the big star is out and down for the count, and simply doing what we love. Both things can bring people together because we enjoy seeing stories of perseverance and joy brought to life, and while sports tends to bring in more airtime and merchandising and even money in some cosmopolitan and rural communities, it's the arts that brings in the most revenue. Especially in places like NYC, Chicago, L.A., and even Washington, D.C. While today's post is not necessarily about how more money is poured into sports than the arts - I'm not that equipped with enough information about why that is - it does involve sports in another way. And that's how it gives us hope and encouragement. Case in point: I'm pretty sure you've heard by now that the New York Knicks just won their first NBA championship in 53 years. 53 freakin' years. Let that number sink in for a moment. Many of us weren't alive 53 years ago, but for those who were, they remember what is what like the last time the Knicks won. Things were starting to get more complicated in our world with political uprisings, more violence on the streets, the female empowerment revolution reaching a fever pitch, music was transforming yet again, and a lot of the world of theatre as we knew with was changing... and not always in a good way. Broadway didn't look like what it did in the early part of the 40s and 50s, or even today. Many of the theaters were filled with porn shops, strip clubs, and a lot of shuttered businesses that drove up crime, graffiti, and drugs. But somehow, sports still found a way to bring people together, despite how things looked on the outside. Athletes were still able to perform at the highest of their abilities, and were able to do some fantastic plays on the court. Slam dunks and half court shots at the buzzers come to mind. And then it was the way they moved their feet with ease and rebounded or stole the ball from the other players or the way they played defense. (I know that many of you reading this aren't sports fans in the world of the arts, so if any of this confuses you, please let me know!) But when a team that just so happens to reside in your hometown wins a national title... Boy, it can bring people together in ways that no one else expected. When a team or an artist in your hometown wins a major award or championship, there's a feeling of pride and unity for that team or individual. You may or may not have seen the work they put into what they do so well, and not make it look like work. You've seen them put in extra hours at the gym or rehearsal studios. Have private lessons and one-on-one coaching sessions. They review all of the plays step by step, look over videos or books, and repeat much of that information and choreography over and over again until it becomes second nature. And for them to finally reach the heights and achieve something so wonderful like an Oscar or a Tony or the Lombardi trophy or the NBA championship trophy... You can't help but feel the pride and joy at what they've accomplished, no matter how minuscule those rehearsals and extra hours may seem. To them, all of those long days and nights and lessons and practices and pushing into their uncomfortable zones were all worth it. Even for a moment to hold that award in front of their communities and millions of people watching on TV or online. It showed that with the hard work and determination, and belief in yourself and the gifts you've been given, you can reach that goal of winning it all. And even after hoisting the trophy or the award, the work's not over. You still have to find ways to be inspired to go even further or into new territories you never thought possible. Resting on your laurels is never an option for those who want to keep on doing what they do so well so effortlessly. So... In the world of the arts, how can artists and creatives be inspired by the New York Knicks and all that they were able to accomplish? Especially if many artists and creatives don't know the difference between a goal or a touchdown? You might be surprised by the answer... It's as plain as the nose on your face.

You may recall that for much of the NBA Finals, the Knicks were quite the contenders in this whole series. In fact, they quickly became a huge favorite to win it all. More importantly, there was a longing from all of us to have the Knicks win it all, and I do mean ALL of us (well, maybe not San Antonio). For a team to go without a championship for so long, and to see the heartache after heartache year after year can be kind of depressing. Take it from someone who knows: I'm a Cubs fan, and to be cursed with not winning the World Series for over 100 years can do quite a number on your spirit. Not to mention all of the hate and jeers I get for being a Cubs fan, especially in Missouri. That is THE worst place to be a Cubs fan - those Cardinals fans show no mercy! But when the Cubs finally won the World Series ten years ago, it felt like a huge weight have been lifted off of all of our shoulders, even for fans who don't follow the Cubs. Everyone genuinely wanted this team finally win it all, and when they did, it brought the whole world together to celebrate and cheer and cry tears of joy. All of those years of pent up frustration and "maybe next years" finally unleashed in weeks and months of celebration and a huge uproar of joy. Even theaters got into this. The Chicago cast of Hamilton famously performed "Go Cubs Go" at the end of their performance a day after the Cubs won. They even had the W flag and the conductor wearing his trusty Cubs cap. That moment still brings a huge smile to my face. In a way, both the Cubs and the Knicks have a lot in common. After so many years of not winning a national title, the celebrations were massive, emotional, joyous, and brought everyone together. All of that joy brought some much-needed relief and happiness for all of us in times of uncertainty and chaos. Seeing all of the players, fans, older generations of fans, and celebrities who are sports fans dancing, hugging, partying, and all of the above on TV screens and online brought a sense of unity in their happiness and joy. And for so many of us, seeing teams like the Knicks and the Cubs who suffered so much anguish, sneering, bitterness, and write-offs as the worst team in the world and unable to win a single championship finally win it all is a breath of fresh air... And it gives us hope. Even the worst teams in the world can find a way to turn it all around and do the impossible: like win a championship for the first time in over half a century, or over a century. That to me says that dogged hope does have its own rewards and benefits. Especially after being down and out and considered lost causes for so long, even if they came so close to winning it all for some years. There are two things that struck me with the Knicks championship run, and one is more obvious than the other. The first is that throughout the entire championship run, the Knicks were always down by double digits at halftime. Particularly the in the five games of the series that helped the Knicks win it all. It was easy for San Antonio fans, the announcers, the sports analysts, the Knicks fans, the New York community, and the world, to write them off at halftime as losing it all. "There's no way they can come back with a double digit deficit. It's just not possible!" Well, the Knicks had other ideas. They believed that "impossible" simply mean "I'M possible." Or in the case of the team - because there's no "I" in team - "WE'RE possible." Did the double points scare them? Absolutely not! (Well, maybe a little, if not made them frustrated because they've done it so many times.) But they didn't focus on the points at halftime. They were focused on what's to come at the end of the game... And what they needed to do to ensure victory. That meant not looking at how far they were behind, but they were focused on the ways they can move forward and win. Even if it means chipping away at the score piece by piece. They knew how insurmountable the odds were, and they knew that they had a 50/50 chance of not winning (in one of those games, that actually did happen). But even as they lost one out of the final playoff games, they found a way to not look back, but find a way to move forward. We as actors and artists often feel like we should be further along by now. I know that's been the case for yours truly for a while now. You'd think that after 10 years in this business I would finally be a consistent working actor with a sizable bank statement, a ton of well-known professional credits, and even some awards or recognition under my belt. But here's the thing I'm slowly starting to realize: The way you hold yourself if your career isn't by how much you think you're behind, but all the ways that you can move forward from what you've learned, what you've done, and how both of those things can propel you forward into your next chapter. Even if it means chipping away at it piece by piece. Here's something to remember: There are people who are further along than you who may be envious of the other person getting all of the credit and recognition, even if they haven't been doing this for a long time like you have. And then it's vice versa. Or, there may be people who may feel like they don't have the right training or acting classes & workshops to get themselves in the rooms they want to be in like others. And vice versa. To make it clear: there's always going to be someone who is further along than you or at your same level or even further back than you always longing to be further along by double digits. It never ends! There's never that true satisfaction of being where you're supposed to be by now. Even in the moments of stagnancy and trying to do small, proactive things to help move things along, it never feels like you're doing enough. So you keep on pushing yourself to do more, and more, and more, until you finally collapse in a heap of exhaustion and burnout. It sort of gets to a point where the endless cycle you're in is starting to frustrate you and drive you mad.

And you often find yourself questioning why things haven't been happening as fast as the way they want it to be? Or why is that person getting all of the roles and the awards and the recognition, and they're not even at my same level? It's a dangerous cycle of jealousy, bitterness, and resignation that causes so many talented people to give up, many times right before the breakthrough happens. They just can't handle being in the cycle anymore. They've tried everything - all of the classes, workshops, auditions, callbacks, self-submissions, networking, everything under the sun = and still, nothing seems to make that needle move forward even a smidge more. And they can't stand doing things over and over again like they've do so many times before, and they just throw up their hands and call it quits. But here's where I want you to pay attention to what I'm about to say next: It's doing the same things over and over again that you expect to get results. You do the same monologue, the same sides, the same headshot, the same teacher, the same theaters, the same mentality... And you expect things to be different with all of the work, adjustments, transformations, studying, and more you put into. You think that by doing the same things it may lead to different result. Probably because you're hopeful. But maybe there's also a twinge of fear behind that. Especially if it involves the following words - "what if I FAIL?" Maybe the biggest reason why you aren't further along by now isn't because of how much work you're putting into your career, but because of how you're doing things. Especially if it's the same way. Let me explain: Artist and creator Ajarae Coleman describes patience in two specific ways:

Almost every one of us has heard some version of this advice:

“Just be patient. Your time will come. Trust the process. Keep working. Keep showing up. Eventually it will happen for you.”

"It sounds wise and kind, and it sounds like the thing a veteran of this industry would say to a younger actor who feels like they are struggling. It’s well-intentioned.

But it has done so much damage to acting careers.

Not because patience itself is wrong. I definitely believe in patience! We all know that careers take time to build. The problem is that the word “patient” gets used to describe two completely different things. One of them builds careers. The other one quietly burns years that actors can’t get back. Strategic patience looks like this. You have a real plan. You know what you’re working on this quarter. You’re tracking your data. You’re reviewing your progress. You’re adjusting when something isn’t working. And inside that structure, you give the work the time it needs to compound.

Passive patience looks like this. Same materials. Same approach. Another year goes by. Nothing converts. And a quiet voice in the back of your mind says “well, it just takes time.” No data. No strategy. No change." Maybe the reason why you aren't as further along as you'd like is because you haven't been as proactive, or even, strategic, in a way that can help you move forward. Even if it's chipping away at things piece by piece. If you've been doing the same things over and over again without getting the results you need, perhaps the problem isn't the outer environment around you. But maybe it's what you're doing, thinking, and even believing that may be holding you back from moving in the right direction. You can train, attend auditions and callbacks, network, update headshots and resumes, and everything in between all you want, but if you remain stuck in the same patterns thinking you can get the best results in the world... You've got another thing coming. And you can waste a lot of years without having an effective strategy or update to help you get further. Take it from someone who knows. (Even though both sports and the arts can bring people together in an enjoyable collective experience, they can still bring about differing opinions and observations. It's the same thing with my posts - they are my observations, opnions, and reflections coming from my own lived experiences. It's not meant to be the same as yours, and that's okay! We can agree to disagree, and that's the way it should be. So it bears repeating that I won't tolerate any offensive language, hate speech, or divisive words to further drive a wedge in our shared humanity. We all need to learn to live with each other and celebrate our differences, and if you can't do a thing like that, I will block you.)

One player that stood out to everyone in this whole series was Jalen Brunson. After an unbelievable victory of the Knicks winning by one point, a reporter asked Brunson what he was going to do after winning Game 3. He looked straight into the camera and said he was going to go back to his room and watch the tape. Brunson could've slept in. He could've partied. He even could've gotten a good meal with his family. He earned it after that game! But he chose to do his homework and look at the tape - Brunson watched every possession, every mistake, every falter, and every moment that went right and didn't go right. He knew that the best way to win this series wasn't by slacking off and sticking with the same materials and plays. It was preparation... Which meant looking at the tapes and seeing every little detail and figuring out what worked, and what he needed to improve on in order to keep winning. And to make it clear: Jalen Brunson wasn't the tallest player, nor was he the fastest. But he sure made up for it by preparation and a solid work ethic. It seems that preparation helped the Knicks win it all, but it was more than that. It was also going back to see what actually worked well and what they needed to improve upon, but also what does not work anymore and needing to start from scratch in order to get better. Having the right materials, acting lessons, books, agents, managers, monologues, sides, and technique is one thing, but if you don't really have a clear strategy of how to go about pursuing this career and only relying on what you know without taking the time to see if all of the work you're doing is actually helping move things forward... Well, guess what? You might end up even more stuck and frustrated than when you first started. That's been the case for me for the past decade. I honestly didn't want to do the work because I thought I was naturally talented and that my talent alone would get me into the rooms I wanted to get in. Even when I decided to start going to acting coaching and voice lessons more consistently, I still remained rooted to my own patterns and bad habits of falling back into being more emotional and powerful in acting, instead of looking at the layers and nuances and shifts and listening and thinking. And not only that, I still used the same monologues and songs without thinking that I needed to change things. Worse still, I just sent in the self-tapes that were deemed the best ones by my coach without actually watching them for myself and noting every detail - the beats, the emotions, the changes in tactics, the playfulness in my line delivery, and everything in between. And then there's going after projects because of only the money, or only because of the prestige, or even thinking you have a leg up because you work at the theatre company. But I didn't take the time to prepare, watch the tapes, go into more coaching the day of the audition or the self-tape, figure out why my self-tapes were falling flat, or even changing my materials. I thought it was fine the way it was, even believing that I was fine the way I am. I don't need to change anything. Because I was lazy. Or was it because I was scared? I think it was fear. I don't think any of us take criticism real well, because it means that we have to change a bad part of ourselves in order to be accepted, even taking the bullying and abuse to get better at what we do. And maybe it was that constant criticism that I endured for so long that made me so scared to put in the effort and time and preparation... because I was scared of the verbal abuse and bullying. Tone of voice will do it every time, let me tell you. Maybe that's why sitting down and explaining what's not working and how frustrated you are with where you're at right now with a coach or mentor can make a difference, because they can not only help you process your feelings and process, but also give you some honest feedback on the ways that you can possibly get better and move forward... Without the verbal abuse. I'm very lucky to have an acting coach and voice teacher who are aware of my trauma, but also patient enough to tell me the hard truth without using bullying tactics or mind games to force me to get better. Forcing yourself to get better will only harm you in the long run - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually. Proper practice, repetition, research, preparation, giving yourself grace, and learning when to stop and rest can make just as much of a huge difference in whatever you set your mind to in life, whether that's sports or the arts. No matter how far you are in your career, you won't be able to get far without preparation. And that sometimes means taking the time to look at yourself and your materials and seeing what works, what doesn't, and making an effort to improve or try a new approach. Many of us are trying a new approach to how we move in our careers, whether that's going back to school, learning new materials, taking different classes, focusing on your physical health, and doing something new and unique that challenges your creativity in an avenue you never thought of before. But I think the best way to be strategic in preparation isn't from watching tapes or learning new materials or switching agents and managers. It's accountability. YOU are the only one who can determine how far you want to go, and that often means putting in the time, effort, and preparation to get to where you want to be. Becoming the victim is so easy, but it's so exhausting and irksome beyond belief. Haven't you ever considered that maybe the way things are going isn't just because of how things operate... But because of what you will or won't do to get better? Accountability is the first step in strategic patience, and often the hardest one to check off the list. YOU are the one in control of your life and your career, and that includes how often you do and don't show up for yourself. It's not too late to show up for yourself, and make the changes you need to make to get to where you want to be. Even if you chip away at it slowly, it's still progress. Every proactive step you take for yourself is a step in the right direction, and even if it doesn't work out the first time, keep trying. You're only a failure if you give up... And you're only a failure and a sore loser if you choose not to hold yourself accountable to make the changes you want to see in your career. Think about it this week. Congrats to the New York Knicks on winning their first NBA Championship in over 53 years! I think I'll be in a New York State of Mind for a while...