How to Disturb the Comfortable

I was riding home with a friend one day, when she shared a very enlightening quote that stuck with me for much of this week:

It's something that you don't hear a lot about these days, but rather, you see it start to pop up in theaters more and more. And film. And television. And paintings. And sculptures. And poetry. And novels. And everywhere in between. We are living in a time where we are being forced to confront the harsh realities of our existence, including what people go through on a day-to-day basis that not a lot of people know about. There's a push to talk about the sensitive topics and taboo subjects that were behind closed doors for much of our lives because it may reach someone who may not be aware of it happening in their lives out in public, but within their own lives and communities that isn't talked about enough. Sometimes, you could be shamed for even mentioning the very sensitive topic because of how uncomfortable or embarrassed the other person feels. Or in the case of art, the fear of people walking out and demanding a refund. "Oh, you shouldn't be talking about this in theatre! It's disrespectful!" "You want to talk about THAT?!?!?!" "Why?????" "You know if you do a show about that, people are going to up and leave, right?" "Good luck with that." "I certainly won't go support a show that talks about that." "I hope your show is a failure because it is a terrible idea and no one will see your show." Does any of that sound familiar to you? It's definitely something I've heard as an actor... And in some recent cases, as a writer. The idea of talking about some sensitive topics, including those that are related to cultural identities, in the world of theatre, visual art, dance, or film & TV as a way to bring people together is... Well... New. Well, let me rephrase that. Still new. Because there are still countries out there who are further behind than we are in the U.S., or even if there are nations that are light years ahead of us in terms of healthcare, politics, education, and other heated debate topics, some of the things we discuss behind closed doors are still very much controversial and private... And shouldn't be shared before an audience. Even though many of us know it's wrong and that there are more forward ways to address these topics... Even remind people who go through these things that they are not alone. No one is ever truly alone. Not really. Here's something I've come to realize in the past decade of my professional acting career: As entertaining as the arts are, including theatre, it's never meant to be just a form of entertainment. The arts have always been a form of expression, even rebellion, of the current state of times. Not one piece of a painting, sculpture, tapestry, music, poem, short story, film, television show, or theatre has ever been a clean version of our lives in this present moment. Even if you go as far back as ancient Egypt and the hieroglyphics, a lot of what was presented had some pretty graphic images that would make your stomach churn. The arts can be presented in so many ways, and not just entertainment: It could be presented as an omen. Or a warning. Or a battlecry. Or a sigh of relief. Or a pouring out of your heart. Or a scream of rage. Or a lullaby. Or an homage to a loved one. Or a dirge. Or a recipe for success. Or a recipe for disaster. Or a political commentary. Or a vent. Or a conundrum. Or a cozy, rainy autumn day. Whatever the arts can represented as, it is not just one main thing... Nor should it just be a form of entertainment to have in the background. Whenever you read a book, hear a song, see the ballet, or see theatre, you leave that space feeling something. The arts have a way of making you leave feeling different than when you first came in, and it's a different experience for everyone. While in many cases there is joy and hope, there's also sadness and emotional turmoil. And then there's the feeling we all try to avoid: Being uncomfortable. Because when we face the harsh realities of our lives and circumstances, or see through the lens of another's life that we didn't realize was so terrible and occurring before our very eyes without our prior knowledge... We know that this story is not just one to put on the background. It's one where we are forced to watch and listen and pay attention. Because the arts have a way of being a reflection of who we currently are as human beings, no matter who we root for in the story. And if you're only focused with your narrow perception of how life is supposed to be and not seeing the struggles and the realities each of us going through... Then you're missing the point of what the arts are supposed to do to you. You're missing the most important reason why there is the arts at all: It's a journey into our humanity... And it's never meant to not be comfortable. We won't always get the same good feelings all the time. But if you're not being moved to your uncomfortable zone in what you see and feel, then we're either not doing our jobs as artists, or you're missing the point of what the arts are supposed to do to you. And I'm sad to say, there's a lot of that going around these days.

I think you've heard this phrase spoken quite a bit lately: "When has theatre NOT been political?" Or in a similar sentence: "Theatre has never NOT been political." Even the most joyous musicals and plays didn't have something heavy or profound for audiences to think about. The Sound of Music deals with growing up and how music can heal & bring a family together, but it also deals with the rise of fascism and Hitler's eventual takeover of Austria. South Pacific takes place during the Korean War, with the simple pleasures of romance, but also deals with immense grief, and also the far-fetched idea of an interracial marriage. Cabaret dealt with the onstage and offstage lives of performers at a Berlin nightclub, but like The Sound of Music, it features the eventual rise of Hitler in Berlin (you probably may have left pretty shook by the end of the musical). Wicked is the untold story of the famous witches of Oz, and how they became friends. But sadly, it dealt with the harsh realities of authoritarian regimes, especially how they used marginalized groups as the scapegoats for all of the problems happening in Oz. RENT is a musical about nine different souls living and trying to thrive in 1989-1990s NYC. But in the midst of dancing, sex, and love, there is the lingering sense of dread living in the age of AIDs, poverty, and emotional trauma that comes from trying to live your best life. Of course, there are some productions that are extremely political and profoundly different from what many are used to. I can think of several plays that come to mind in this case: Sally & Tom by Suzan-Lori Parks is the story of a struggling theatre community premiering an original play of the relationship between Thomas Jefferson and Sally Hemming. But underneath the rehearsals and relationships between the actors is the heated debate over racial issues and also the continuing struggle to produce a show when there are some people who have preconceived notions of what shows to do and how the characters should be portrayed for the sake of the loyal audience members. Nine Night by Natasha Gordon deals with grief over the death of a beloved family matriarch. But it also examines what happens before, during, and after the burial of a beloved family member. It features discussions of money, abandonment, estrangement, and how to move forward in the midst of grief. How I Learned to Drive by Paula Vogel on the surface deals with the problems of adolescence and growing up. But underneath the witty lines and comedy features some dark themes: misogyny, incest, and pedophilia, including the abusive relationship between the two main characters living in 1960s rural Maryland. Spring Awakening deals with adolescence in this coming of age rock/folk musical, which is based on the 1891 play of the same name. But it centers on teens discovering the inner and outer trials and tribulations of adolescent sexuality, while also living in a society where adults believe they know what is best for their children through protecting them from the horrors of the world like sex and violence. But children do find out the truth, one way or another... And there's lots more where that came from. Even some of the most melodious musicals that can be lighthearted still carry a bit of heaviness, like A Little Night Music, Company, Into the Woods, The Lion King, Chicago, SIX, & Juliet, 1776, The Outsiders, and the list goes on and on. So, why is it a problem for so many people to be uncomfortable seeing theatre? I think the answer speaks for itself. Audiences forget that while the music is beautiful or edgy and the choreography is top notch and the costumes are sublime, the story is at the very core of why theatre exists... And how sometimes that story is a reflection on our society as a whole. Including the parts that make us uncomfortable... And the ones we think should be avoided. I got to come out and say this: I think today's audiences have gotten too comfortable with being comfortable. No one really wants to think or even remotely feel uncomfortable anymore. And I get it - Things are kind of rough right now. Pretty crappy, even. No one wants to leave a show feeling more depressed than when they came into the theatre to escape from all things political, foreign affairs, religion, racism, sexism, and the slow descent into madness as we know it. And seeing an exact reflection of how the world is in theatre is not exactly a pleasant idea of a night out to escape from the world's problems. In fact, I think some people would like to do anything but face the current state of the world, including in plays and musicals. And it shows. In many cases, the people in power are trying to shift the blame of what's happening in the world on someone or something other than what's in front of them. And while the arts does a pretty good job of showing what happens when that occurs, there are still some deniers and naysayers out there who may never get the message. Or simply don't want to get the message. The best example I can give is what's going on in politics right now: One side - doesn't matter which one - isn't willing to look at facts the way they are right now or acknowledge the harm they are causing, and are finding others to blame for the sake of getting the country on the right track. Or worse yet, some groups of people are not holding themselves accountable for seeing their own hypocrisy and are only rewriting laws and history for their own benefit, and to make themselves the true heroes. Not look at the harm that was caused by previous generations, and make an effort to change it. So, the best way to make sure that theatre is exactly the way that they want it to be is to do things their way, even if it's just plain wrong. They dumb down the language and sexually explicit scenes and uncomfortable scenes. They switch up the lyrics to songs to fit their beliefs. They change which race plays the roles that are normally played by BIPOC performers, mostly to Caucasian performers. They limit the number of plays being created by BIPOC performers to focus on the more prominent Caucasian playwrights, or have just one known BIPOC play to please the Caucasian audiences just to say they aren't racist. Their board members are mostly white with little room for diverse voices. The audiences are generally white, older, more affluent, and quite opinionated when it comes to what shows they want to see & what topics they want to talk about. So, you see, even though there are more and more diverse voices and experiences coming into play these past few years, there is still a great trepidation of going into uncomfortable territory in theatre... Especially when it involves older Caucasian audiences with a specific idea or belief about what should and shouldn't be done in the theatre. While there's nothing wrong with relying on shows and musicals from the Golden Age of Broadway, including how beautiful the music is and the wittiness of the dialogue, there is still a bit of pain in audiences who are Caucasian and older and slight more conservative who believe that these shows should be the ONLY shows that should be done. No more of this political correctness B.S. No more sexually explicit or sexually liberating shows. No more black-centric shows that doesn't solely involve black pain and keeping black people in their place. No more stories about the Jewish and their hardships coming to America, with all of the anti-Semitic ideas and practices being done by the Caucasians. No more shows that openly discuss abortions, pregnancy, labor, delivery, postpartum depression, and anything & everything involving a woman. No more eye-opening experiences about what it's like being Asian in the United States, with specific information for each of the countries - China, Japan, Taiwan, Indonesia, Vietnam, etc. - since each culture in Asia is profoundly different. No more authentic celebrations and respect to the varied and diverse BIPOC cultures. No more disturbing stories of incest, rape, molestation, abuse, and mistreatment in perfect families. No more mental health and emotional trauma being exposed on stage. And that's only the tip of the iceberg for some of these stories that some Caucasian audience members, donors, and supporters want to sharply reduce to almost nonexistent. The reasons why could be best pinpointed down to this: Maybe they experienced some of these things themselves, and don't want to relive that trauma and horror of what happened to them when they were growing up. And that's understandable. But I think the bigger reason why some of the conservative audiences want to sharply reduce the number of uncomfortable stories or even change the stories to something more glorifying and hopeful can come from a basis of fear. Many of them simply are afraid to be uncomfortable, and they are afraid to accept the world as it is, not what is in their vision. And from that standpoint, they fear that should the number of deeply uncomfortable stories multiply and expose the cracks of a broken world, let alone a broken family, it could shake and even damage the very fabric of their vision of a perfect society. One where the women are submissive, or where the black people don't rise up to the levels of CEOs or presidents and are kept in their place in the ghetto, or where the Asians are grouped together as one race and are only good for owning Chinese restaurants and not having an education or even learning English, or the indigenous people's stories of massacre and mistreatment are nothing but lies and deserve to be buried... In other words, they fear the power of what the BIPOC communities and women and LGBTQ+ communities hold when they unapologetically tell their stories in theatre, raw and sometimes unhinged. After years and generations of mistreatment, I can understand where that rage comes from. But when they share their stories and experiences in a way that criticizes, challenges, and blames society for what they've been through and what they were told to keep hidden, only to have it be revealed in broad daylight... You can imagine how much all hell will break loose from both sides. Particularly from the conservative, affluent side who is help funding the arts and what shows can be presented and what isn't. There's an unspoken rule in theatre where you have to keep a certain number of outspoken individuals out of the high ranks because of all of the change that they implement that can help usher in a new era, but can also ostracize, harm, and even leave those long standing supporters out in the cold. Especially if it comes at the cost of being in the lap of luxury and control. Or...

It could also be that the values of being unapologetic and raw and vulnerable doesn't sit well with the more conservative audiences, and even those who don't believe that th BIPOC communities should even have their own voice in the theatre, outside of being slaves and servants and witches and villains and gangsters and prostitutes and drug dealers and every stereotypical role under the sun. And could also cost them their money. Both ideas seem to be similar, but you see my point. The reason that many people are uncomfortable with the idea of being uncomfortable in the world of theatre is because of how much they have to lose in order to gain a new perspective. And that sometimes includes the harsh reality that their experience of going to the theatre hasn't been the same experience for EVERYONE. In fact, many of the marginalized and underrepresented groups have been left out of theatre for some time, or even told that they shouldn't do the classics like Shakespeare or Moliére or Shaw. They should stay in their own lane, to coin a phrase. Not only that, some of the things that are considered private are now being presented onstage as an attack of what happened back then as narrow-minded, restrictive, and harmful. And that is a threat of society losing their minds and all sense of propriety. Sexual freedom? Interracial marriage? A black Romeo? Cross dressing? An AA meeting? Vaccine misinformation? Women's right to vote? The Trail of Tears? ADHD? Animal abuse? Same-sex relationships? AIDS? Incest? A child being molested by their uncle? A mentally challenged woman having a relationship? Deaf artists doing a musical? A black princess in a Grimm's fairy tale? Oh, the HORRORS!!!!!!!! (I know this is far-fetched and downright silly, but I can assure you that this is sadly 100% true.) People actually going out of their minds for stories like this as being too much for their small minds and fragile hearts to comprehend that stories like this matter and that theatre is never not political and they want to silence those types of stories forever? Well...

...

... Yes. (Life has a way of making us uncomfortable, and that is especially true in my line of work as an actor & writer. Not all stories end happily, or have a conclusion, and that's okay! But here's the thing to take into consideration: this week's blog post, as well as previous blog posts, are just my observations and reflections, and should not be the supreme rule as being the only right answer. There are plenty more observations and reflections that are so different from mine, and it is okay to disagree with what I have to say in this blog post and others. What's not okay, however, is being disrespectful to one another and not actually listening to different opinions and observations. I won't tolerate any hate speech or offensive languge or anything that can further divide us. We all need to learn to agree to disagree and respect each other as human beings, no matter where we live or what we believe. If you can't do a simple thing like that, I will block you.)

Maybe a big reason why people don't want to be uncomfortable right now is because of how much they want to make themselves feel better. They tend to stick with what they know, who they know, and what they believe. Even if it means twisting the truth to their own standards just so they can receive all of the pity and support by playing the victim. Or that they don't want to face reality, and that they're version of it is only protecting themselves. But they aren't seeing the harm it causes to others, and are only thinking about themselves. Or they believe that there is some dirty laundry that shouldn't be exposed to a wider audience because it would make themselves feel less than... or even ashamed. Not everything or every detail should be put out to the public in this graphic way, even if it is making others who have experienced it feel seen, heard, and reminded that they are not alone. Maybe that uncomfortable feeling for them is too much to handle... And they can't handle the truth the world has always been broken, even in their own lives. And they don't want to accept it... or make every effort to change because all they see is their own ugliness and shame. So, they decide to make themselves feel better by doing everything possible to quell, restrict, or even silence the art and the stories that being told. The ones that seem rightfully uncomfortable in order to make themselves feel better. And heap their own beliefs of keeping certain groups of people in place, and only being submissive to those in authority, including those who have the power to decide what stories gets presented onstage, and how they get presented onstage. Even if it's not an authentic representation. So... How does theatre mostly succeed in disturbing the comfortable? I think the best place to start is in looking within, and seeing how broken and imperfect you are. No one is truly perfect. Not really. And maybe when you realize that, you can acknowledge and understand that the arts aren't necessarily just a form of attack or criticism, but how the artists view the world through their eyes. Any form of the performing and visual arts is an invitation to look at the world through their eyes, even the ugly parts that they've experienced and represented onstage, film, songs, paintings, sculptures, and more. No one piece of art is perfect, nor is it a beautiful melody. It can be discordant, clashing, disagreeable, painful, harsh, rebellious, and dark. But it's still their own experiences and how they view the world. Maybe there can be some goodness involved in how art is represented, but it can still also have a bit of uncomfortable feelings mingled in as well. There may be people who may never understand the artist's intentions or experiences, nor will they enjoy every story. And that's okay. We can't control what the audience will think or respond. All we have to do is trust in ourselves and the work, and let that speak for itself. Some people may never fully know or realize that some of the most hidden conversations and experiences don't stay behind closed doors for long, and they do find a way to be let out. And not just through social media. Arts can be just as much of a powerful tool than just a picture and a caption. While the world is broken, scary, divisive, and tumultuous, there's also a small piece that still exists in a big way day to day. And that's called hope. There can be good that's intermingled with the bad and hopelessness and the grief. You can never really drive out the darkness with more darkness. Only light is able to do that. And that light can be from sharing the uncomfortable to make others uncomfortable... But also remind them to keep fighting for the good that they long to see in the world and within themselves. And to let others know that no one is truly alone. Not every story is meant to resonate with everyone, but the ones that do, those are the ones that can inspire the most change and eye-openings that are sorely needed right now. Who knows? Maybe that one piece of theatre or painting or song may just inspire you to love yourself deeper, and be okay with being uncomfortable. How else can we change the world if we don't understand, appreciate, respect, and accept that what's uncomfortable can help us be a better society? Even if it's simply looking through another's eyes? Having the most profound reactions to an uncomfortable line, lyric, story, and piece of art can do wonders for one's mind, heart, and soul. Take it from someone who knows.